June 29, 2010 was one of the longest days of my life, yet one of the most existing, bittersweet, days of my life. It was my last day as a missionary, and the day I would return to the States.
After hours of travel~ a bus to Bangkok, a plane to Shanghai, an 8 hour layover, and a plane to LAX~ I was exhausted I wanted the comforts of home, a drive thru fountain root beer, a bean cheese and rice burrito, and a shower with real towels and real hot water. I wanted to hold my cell phone and tell loved ones I was home safe. I wanted to see my parents waiting for me at baggage claim. I was ready to be home.
At the same time I said good bye to most of my new family in Bangkok. Out of 80 or so of us, only 8 of us flew through China. That meant saying good bye in Thailand was it. Tears and hugs and pictures galore. It was the reality of knowing you had finally learned to truly love your new family, but now you were leaving them for your real family. It was the reality of knowing these people knew you, inside and out, good days and bad, shower or no shower, and learned to love the God in you anyway. That was about to leave. On a different plane. To a place you can only hope will one day reunite you.
Getting to the airport was relief and stimulis overload all at once. You begin to realize how hard it is when everyone around you is speaking your language. You don't know who to listen to or how to block things out. There are signs and you can read every single one of them, including the ones that show you how long you are about to wait in a customs line before you reach your family waiting just on the other side. On the way home I was at a loss for what to say. Instead I was told about things at home, how family was, the neighboorhood, and 4th of July plans. A short ways into the traffic coming out of Los Angeles, I needed to stop. Nearest place was Krispy Kreme... Not only did I use their bathroom, I also ate two fresh glazed donuts in the car. My first American food home. Then of course we still had to stop to get my favorite burrito and my soda. It didn't matter how full I was already.
It was a few days later as jet lag wore off and reality set it. Things at home hadn't changed much. Everyone was still doing the same thing as when I left a year prior. Kids were a bit taller but still kids. Jobs were still jobs and the job market still sucked. I began to miss my life as a missionary. I missed my random beds and one room with 7 people. I missed my bucket showers and mosquito nets. I missed worship nights and prayer times. I missed having Kingdom as my main focus.
It was soon after God really began to build upon a vision that started in my last month on the mission field. It was then Hope 'n Motion came to fruition. I knew I was called to bring Kingdom in a new way, in a way that was fit unto me.
Helping Overcome Poverty's Existence.... HOPE..... It was a word with so many meanings now.
hope (noun). 1. a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to come. 2. a person or thing that may help save someone. 3. grounds for believing that something good may happen.
Hope is something I believe as a human we need to survive. We need to know that we have hope, that we hope for our future, that God gives us hopes and dreams. And it has a new meaning for me now as well... To help overcome poverty's existence in one way shape or form.
I will not say it is ironic or coinsidence, but a gift from God that yesterday, one day before my one year anniversary of re-entry, I was able to ship out my first Hope 'n Motion shipment. By His grace and mercies the vision He has given me will carry on, with all glory back to Him.
I want to thank those of you that have supported me, walked along side of me, purchased from me, and prayed for me. Without you all my vision would be nothing. I pray you continue to follow my journey, support me when and where you can, and please, help spread the word. The word of what I am doing, and the Word of God.
I heard a loud
shout from the throne, saying "Look, God's home is now among his people! He
will live with them, and they will be his people. God himself will be with
them. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more
death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever."
~Rev 21:3-4
You are invited to a
party!
Anywhere you are, so
am I!
That is what I think
Uncle Jim wanted us to hear today as he went to be with our Lord. He wanted us
to know his seat was ready and waiting with his Bridegroom. In fact, it had
been waiting a little too long.
After much suffering
and pain, Uncle Jim is in a new body. Something I can only imagine he has
longed to have for so long. After loss of his eyesight, loss of memory, and loss
of health, he is now free to run and celebrate with the One he lived his life
for.
It was something my
family knew was coming, and for months he was in and out of the hospital and
other types of care. I knew it would be a blessing when the Lord called him
home, simply to relieve the suffering he was having. He was surrounded with an
amazing circle of believers that knew more than anything peace would be soon
upon him.
Last night when I was
told Thursday was his last meal, I kind of choked up. I was never very close to
Uncle Jim, but despite his loses, he knew who I was and what I was about. From
his hospital bed he would as my family weekly how I was on my mission trip, and
when I was coming to tell him all about it. Well, since being home I have spoken
at their church. I even rescheduled once because he had gone back to the
hospital and I wanted him to be there. But the next time it happened again and
we all knew the show must go on. I would tell the others there about my
journeys and how the Lord worked.
But you see, today
Uncle Jim left us, and I never did get to tell him those stories. While he
wasn't much to talk back to you anymore, and my conversation would have been
one sided, I pray he gets to run up to God and say, "Well hello there God- Can you
tell me the stories of how you used my Bambi?" I know it seems silly, but it's
amazing how true the stories are- 'When you get home some people will ask you
how it was and really not care, and others will ask and have hours to spare-
Those are the ones you need to hold on to...' If people wanted to know, really
really wanted to know, they would ask. And not just a common in passing ask and
expect no response.
So Uncle Jim, I hope
you get to watch down from heaven and see all the thousands around the globe
serving our God, making a difference, and carrying onward for the cause we
shared... While a few tears have been shed, I am delighted to know that you are
pain free and whole in the presence of our Mighty King. We will eat some yummy
Italian food for you, sing a few songs, and be merry...
*To all family who
reads my blogs and is affected by this loss, know you are in my prayers, but
please, let's celebrate!!*
A year ago today I was sitting in Budapest,
Hungary wondering what on earth was going to be next. After the horrific night
we had just had, and being on an ATL, we knew it could only get better. I mean,
things couldn't get much worse. It was then we came across a few angels-
American missionaries who saved us from the thought of simply living at
McDonalds and not only took us in, but considered us family.
I've been thinking a lot lately how often I
used to write on the race, how when something dramatic happened- or when some 'a
ha' moment happened I made notes everywhere so I could blog when I got a
chance. Well here I am, three months into re-entry and when I have those
moments I feel this emptiness of, 'Where so I share this?' Sure, I could start
a new blog, or I could just talk to people, but neither will happen, most
likely.
Instead I decided to look over some blogs from
a year ago, about this time and see what the Lord was doing. I was sucked in. I
began to not only read my own words, but to feel as if I was in that moment all
over again. Remembering the joys and the sorrows that I was facing, and how the
Lord was growing me during that time. After reading a handful of blogs I
decided to call it a night. Only here I am... Awake, and blogging. Somehow this
seems all too familiar.
So I figured I would update on a few things...
Since I've been home things have been rather
good. Not exactly what I had expected but still good. Then again, how much can
you really expect after a year away? I came home to a welcoming family, and a
couch I called my bed. I traveled to San Fran a few times visiting family and
had a fantastic time being pampered do I dare say J About six weeks ago I moved in with my
grandparents and that has been a total blessing. I am close to family, and yet
have a place I can call 'mine'. After my year in a bag, it is much needed. I
celebrated my birthday in July, the holiday I left after celebrating and the
one I came home to. It was a close knit group of friends and good times-
simple, but that's me. I am still job searching and I must admit I did not
think it would last this long. I have been blessed to babysit for an old family
I worked for in college, which is making it work, but not what I need. At times
I believe it is the Lord testing me still- teaching me to live with my needs
barely met and leaning on Him for the rest. Telling me 'It's not only around
the world you need to trust me daughter, but here at home too.' Another thing I
didn't see coming was a relationship, but I am pretty sure many others did.
About seven weeks after being home, things between my best guy friend and I
turned from simply friends to more. While it had been years in the making I
think I had a blind eye to it all. But as time has gone on, it has been
amazing. Sometimes God throws things your way when you least expect it and as
long as He stays your focus, it's amazing how good it can be. I've learned the
hard way, so I'm walking on the right path this time around ;) And of course, it was awesome being able to be a part of my best friend's engagement, and now helping her plan her wedding.
Me and my cousin Michael in Monterey, CA Me and my best friend, Megan, at her engagement!
My Birthday :) Me and Andy at my ONLY Angel's game this year!
And as for God, well that is a constant
learning game...
I don't even know where to begin with how He
has amazed me, but I will try to share a few examples...
~Like the time I prayed for wind on a hot day
and sure enough, there it came.
~Or the time I thought if I can pray for wind,
I'm going big- God can you make it rain? I know it's 115 outside and it would
never happen, but you can do anything, so please?? 30 minutes there were
thunderstorms and flash flood warnings on the news.
And of course, I am always seeing things new....
~Like how we are not called to admire Christ,
but to be like Him
~Or how truth is more important than unity. We
will always have division on some level, but without truth the end result is
worthless. You may have a happy room of people but none who are going to
heaven. Speak truth, no matter what. God will do the rest.
I can't even think to list all of what I've
gone through, learned, seen, or heard. It's been overwhelming at times. But I
can say this... While I am not sure where I am going next, or what roads the Lord
will open, I am trusting in His perfect will that in His perfect time all
things will come to pass.
I remind myself daily, 'Be still and know that
I am God... Peace, be still'
Today was my first day back in church after being on the World Race. I
was so ready to have worship I knew, a sermon in English, and a group
of people I would know. I had no idea the series which Pastor Greg
Laurie of Harvest Christian Fellowship would begin today would be so
nail on the head.
The series which started today is called
'Crossing Over'. The concept of crossing over in order to get from 'A'
to 'B', to to bring 'A' to 'B'. Essentially, bring the lost into eternity. Taking people from hell to heaven, taking people from being lost to being found
as His beloved. I walked in questioning how I would see this sermon
after I have been crossing over for the last eleven months. I walked in
taking in the sights of the main sanctuary, the children's hall,
knowing how affluent this community had become over the years and it
did all but hide that fact. To my surprise (I normally love Harvest
services, but after being gone I was not sure how I would take things),
it was a sermon that was dead on, and called out this generation for
Him.
There are four things all of creation has in common.
1~ Everyone is empty (Romans 8:20)
2~ Everyone is lonely
3~ Everyone feels a sense of guilt
4~ Everyone fears death (Hebrews 2:15)
Because all humans share these things in common, we are called to crossover. To reach those across the world, as well as in our world.
It is said that 72% of the current generation claims to be spiritual,
not religious. Often times this refers to a form of encounter with the
spirits, but it also translates to a generation that is Biblically
illiterate. When we hear the term evangelism, many turn the other way.
We think fire and brimstone, yelling from street corners, track
handouts, and white shirts with a backpack on a bike. Truth is we are
horrible at trying to crossover. We are afraid of the word evangelism,
let alone the thought of evangelizing. We simply don't know how to
crossover.
Trouble is, that is exactly what we are called to do. The Great
Commission stated in Mark 16:15, '"Go into all the world and preach the
Good News to everyone."' Problem with that, The Great Commission has become
The Great Omission. Rather than going to all ends of the earth, most
are not even going into their own home, their own school, their own
world. As harsh at it came across this morning, Greg Laurie said it
this way- It is a sin not to share the Gospel. James 4:17 states
'Remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do
it.' It is a sin of omission.
A wonderful analogy goes something like
this...
Let's say I am a scientist. Well, now I am a scientist that has stage 4
cancer and am desperate to find a cure. I work night and day to achieve
this, for the community as a whole, but mainly because I need to heal
myself. One day it happens. I develop a pill, a one time deal. You take
this magic pill and the cancer is gone. Now I have to decide what I am
going to do with the discovery. Am I going to act like I never had
cancer and keep it to myself? Am I going to sell it for a large amount
of money? Am I going to hand it out to everyone I know who has cancer
and is suffering? The right answer seems obvious. It goes to everyone I
know, because if I don't share the amazing cure, it's basically
criminal. Well isn't that like Christ? Once you find Him, once you are
saved, once your life has been altered forever, don't you think it's
your obligation to share Him?
We as Christians have a calling on our lives. We are called to be
disciples, and to raise up disciples. We are not called to be
stagnant, ignorant, or selfish. We are called to reach the ends of the
earth, to enrich our minds and souls in His Word, and to live a life as
a selfless servant of the King.
So get to it.
Rise up Man/Woman of God.
Crossover.
Step out.
Make disciples.
Serve your King well. You only get once chance.
Thank you Greg Laurie and Harvest Christian Fellowship for this amazing reminder.
After 25 hours of travel, a pit stop in China, and a few weather
delays, I was home. California soil never felt so good. I was met at
the airport by my mom and step mom, and the rest of the family was
waiting patiently at home for my arrival. We all talk about our plans
of our first days home, our first meals, what we can't wait to do, but
odds are a few things get changed. At least, a few things got changed
for me. So for kicks I thought I would share...
On the way home from LAX I had to pee. I know this is a BIG surprise to
most of you. So, we got off the freeway and what do we find, Krispy
Kreme. This has been talked about many times on the Race, and while
this was not a planned first food, my mom(s) couldn't help but laugh at
my screams of joy. My first meal was supposed to be a Bean, Rice,
Cheese burrito from Miguel's, but don't worry, that still happened on
the way home :)
Once I got home, the pack I said I wasn't going to touch, well in a
matter of minutes it was unpacked, empty and airing out outside, gifts
given and laundry going (or at least in the laundry room where it would
wait for mom). And as for dinner of spaghetti and cornbread, two things
I so badly wanted, that didn't happen either. All siblings had sports
practice and I wasn't willing to stay up for it, so that was enjoyed
last night instead.
I expected to be hit with jet lag bad, so I didn't have plans the first
few days home. Well turns out I'm fine and have no jet lag but it's as
if I never left California. I mean, I was looking forward to hours of
sleep, but then again, I'm not complaining.
AND of course, the random things that happen after you've been gone a year....
Toilet paper... I said I'd never think to throw it away again,
only I do...
Phone... I'm so glad to have it back, only I don't always respond because I forget to carry it around.
Outlets... I went for my computer charger and looked at plug to see if
I needed an adapter. Not like I have one anyway, I borrowed all year.
TV... I woke up at 5am my first morning home and didn't turn it on
afraid the sound woke wake my family. Didn't think hard enough that they sleep
upstairs and wouldn't have a clue.
Pantry... Stood in front of it just because I could.
Movies... Couldn't sleep so thought I'd watch a movie on my
computer. Then realized I have a tv with DVD options.
Target... Told people I'd wait a few days to go.
Good thing we went my first full day home to return a gift I got, and
it was a family outing. We acted like 3 year old's and it was more than
hilarious. And can I just say I didn't but a thing!
Needless to say, overall being home has been
amazing! I was ready to be here, but it has been better than I'd hoped.
God is good, His love never ends, and His blessings always flow....
324 days ago I left
Southern California to embark on a journey that would forever change
who I am. I left the comforts of home, the presence of friends and
family, and all I had with me would have to rest on my back. I look
back now and can't begin to tell you where time has gone. There were
days, weeks, even months when I never thought it would end, that this
day would never happen.
Yet here I am. Sitting in my hotel room in Hua Hin, Thailand
packing my pack one last time. I'm a master these days at getting my
life to fit into a bag, throw it on my back, and welcome in foreign
passport control. But something is different this time. I'm not
planning what travel clothes I might need, or what toiletries to drop.
I'm not putting my life in my day pack so I don't have to dig in my big
pack upon arrival for things. Rather my life is thrown together, and in
my lap will sit my Bible, my journal, and many love notes from my new
found family.
It is here. It is surreal and bittersweet. I am more than excited
to see family and close friends, to enjoy mom's meals and dad's bed. I
am ready to have kids cuddling and mom begging for stories. But I'm not
sure I am ready to leave this yet. I haven't been sad about it being
over, I'm not a griever, and honestly, we knew it would end so it's not
as if it sprung upon us. But I'm sad. This is my life now. This is all
I have known for 324 days, or 46 weeks, or 7,776 hours. How ever you
see it, this is all I've seen.
Non-stop community.
Street lined with shoeless children.
Worship under the stars.
Demons cast out.
Baptized in the Jordan River.
Not enough food to satisfy.
Hundreds come to Christ.
I have lived in tents in the midst of monsoon rains, as well as in the
middle of the Serengeti with animals around. I have slept in a bed
alongside my friends the fleas, as well as in a 5 star hotel. I have
eaten rice for days, as well as amazing carrot cake and ice cream. I
have cried and laughed. I have loved and hated. But above it all, I
have lived.
I have heard time and time again, 'This is a year of missions for a
lifetime of ministry', and honestly, it couldn't be more true. This is
a year that has wrecked me for the better. It has jacked me up in ways
I'd never wish on someone, and has been redeemed in ways I never
thought possible.
I am still the same Bambi that left America last summer, but I'm a
better, more Christ-like version. With more love and compassion, more
grace and forgiveness, and above all, a bigger heart than I'd honestly
prefer.
I can't believe the time is here.....
I'm going home....
I want to thank each of you that helped make this year what it was, be
it your presence, your prayers, your love, or your support. I could not
have made it without you. I pray the Lord blesses each one of you as
you carry out the call He has on your life.
Team Redeemed.
Ralph, Bambi, Nicole, Bethany, Brikleigh, Heather, and Tres.
It's been a
long year away from home, and one of the people I miss most is my dad. He isn't
much of the computer type, and honestly not much for a phone call either. When
you add those together, it means I haven't talked to him nearly as much as I
would like to. So as a little something special for Father's Day, I thought I
would put up a little Daddy tribute...
Here are some
of my favorite memories, and some just randoms that only Dad understands...
Memories
~Knowing I couldn't
spread my fingers 'W' but I could do my toes.
~Racing cars on that
figure eight track in the garage under apt 64.
~Being 6 years old and
able to pick put all parts needed to fix a toilet and knowing how to make
perfect vacuum lines in the carpet.
~Thinking if I peed
in the pool it would turn a color because you had me convinced after you showed
my the product that we had it.
~Smashing my face while
riding, or shall I say falling off, the back of our golf cart.
~Same song every day
after school in the car, while you waiting across the street. Then it moved to up
the hill from school, in front of the buses,but still, the same song, only
different from the other one.
~RC cars in the
parking lots, then when I cried when it got ran over once we moved into a house.
~Museums... Too many to
name, but man I could have been a member to a lot. And the library- pretty sure
they knew us by name and we knew you could check out 32 books at a time, which we did just that.
~When they tried to
repo our car thinking you were a different person with the same name. 'Hey Dad,
what are thy doing to our car outside?'
~Forest falls
~Peggy Sue
~Being on the canoe,
going wherever the wind would blow us
~Watersking, and the
hawk. So much for a spotter, you were all too interested in him to notice I was
being drug half way around the lake.
~Geist Lake, early
mornings on the smooth water, and then the Blue Heron.
~Sitting in the
driveway of Grandma Loris's house in that blue rental car because she wouldn't
let us use air conditioner in the house.
~Wildcat lanes, with
fried cheese curds galore
~Coffee table books
always remind me of you.
~ATV riding in the
mud, then go carting.
~Throwing up pasta
and green beans, which came out my nose, and you coming to the rescue, all
which interrupted a game of Monopoly on the kitchen table.
~Always coming home
from Child Time with mom to a bath waiting, and being convinced it was
necessary to bathe, not an option as I wished.
~Sitting in the
rental office with my own box of all office forms, knowing exactly how to write
work order forms mom took and then give to you.
~That cool kid that
got to show up at someone's door with Dad to fix something they messed up,
again.
~You being jealous I
met Hoku and you didn't at Disneyland, all because you had to go potty.
~You trying to nurse
Honey back to life after we came home from Disney land to find her pinned under
her hamster wheel. She died, but you tried to tell me you gave her a burial and
it would be okay.
~Many fish tanks.
Salt water. Fresh water. Lobsters. Eels. Fish. And that one eel that jumped out
all the time and we would find him on the ground. Gross.
~Fishing, and always
giving it to you once the fish was caught to unhook. I was not going to touch
it. No way jose.
~Always having to
wear a helmet. ALWAYS. Only time I ever got grounded. Michelle told on
me. Its okay, it instilled good values for my kids.
~PH testing pools and
getting to throw in all kinds of chemicals.
~Chipping a tooth on
the pool deck, cutting my heel open in the pool, wasp sting on my butt at the
pool, secret pool toy closet, so many pool memories.
~Karaoke and my light
box. We were cool, at least then we were...
~Playing on your drum
set before I could read.
~Driving the bobcat
and helping redo our lake
~Chasing our bunnies
barefoot with giant fish nets as they escaped and went across into the field.
~You reading my
history books in college to me because I hated history.
~Off-roading riding
on the top of the Hummer with Todd.
~Making movies in the
hallway with Natalie while you edited them so we magically appeared.
~Camping with Melissa
and you. Getting the tick in my neck, the coyotes at night, the toad in the
porta potty.
~Changing my many
flat tires in the Focus. Coming to the rescue when the Bug broke down and I was
a gimp with my knee immobilizer.
~Making my room in
mom's office at our old house, and my cool make shift closet.
~When you hit Dude's
cage hanging on the patio with a 2x4 you walked by with opening it and letting
him out.
~When we set up a box
and string trap to try and lure the canaries back after they got out too.
~ Buying me my
Olympus. Sending me on my way to go after my dream of photography.
~Covering my bug in
car paint stuff that made me not a happy camper.
~Chasing Kimba, and
opening the car door to get him in, and in the process locking yourself out of
the running car now holding out giant dog.
~Big Bertha. Enough
said.
~You making sausage
with Nono.
~You being crazy Mr.
Mom, handling 24354 things at once.
~Moving me into
college, then home, then college, then home, etc.
~Laying in your bed
crying and you telling me you would hurt someone if they broke my heart again
~You coming to visit
me with the kiddos, and then having to have them all pile in a tow truck on the
way home, when the Hummer broke down on the freeway.
~The beach, all day,
with grilled cheese and fries from the stand, and then smoothies on the way
home.
~Teaching me to surf,
and the keys of getting a wetsuit on and off, while wet.
~"If I could say I
love you as many times as there are starts in the Milky way I would"
~Saying good-nights
across the hall, always including sweet dreams and God bless.
~You and mom
comparing bellies when she was prego with Todd.
~Driving me to school
when we moved before I was old enough to drive.
~The turd wagon.
Ugliest best car ever.
~Water filtration
system for 4th grade science fair. That was freaking amazing.
~Pajama and movie
days in mom and dads bed. With lots of junk food and surround sound.
~Getting an email
address and making my life complete feeling like I could talk to you while
across the globe.
~Giving the infamous
names Bambipepe and Jessicaca
~Always finding some
way to get us a pool
~Coin collection we
started, though I have no idea if that is still at home or long gone.
~Going skateboarding
with Todd and realizing you weren't young anymore.
~Recording Mr. Rogers
and Reading Rainbow for me while I was home from school for the few weeks after
my smashed face healed and all I did was sleep, watch shows on your bed, and
eat soup out of a turkey baster.
I am sure there are
so many more that I just can't think of right now, but I wanted to say this...
Dad, I hope you have a great Father's Day and know I love you so much and these
are just some of the many memories I have for you and me. I wouldn't be who I am
without you, and I wouldn't have grown up with possible one of the best
childhoods, or so I like to think even if I am a bit biased. I wish I could be
there with you to celebrate, but I will be home in 9 days!!! My year away is
almost over, and I can't wait to see you again and have a giant hug....
I love you dad, as
many times as there are stars in the milky way.
I am from Los Angeles. I am all too familiar
with black market and knock offs. Wait a minute- let me correct that. I am from
Orange County. I am all too familiar with designer labels and outrageous price
tags. But you ask me today where I am, it's far from either of those places. I
am in Phnom Penh, Cambodia.
Being a few thousand miles from home you might
think things would be different. Sure there are ten times more motorbikes than
cars, rice is included in all three meals of a local, there are beautiful places
next to slums. I might be across the world, but there is this constant umbrella
above it all.
Counterfeit.
Black Market.
No matter what you have you want something
more, you want to be someone else. If you can't afford the real thing you take
a trip to the fashion district in LA, or here in Cambodia, you buy something
anywhere. You see luxury labels on steering wheel covers, and designer labels
on classic tshirts. You see isles and isles of purses, shoes, clothes, and yet
none of it is worth it. At least, not if you are trying to have the real thing.
So are they trying to have the real thing? Do
they even know what the label is? Or to them is it just a bag, or a shirt? It
starts to make you wonder. In a place where trash sits along the roads, the streets
flood daily with rains and no sewers, and some are lucky to have clothes, do
they know they are going for a knock off, a pretend, a counterfeit of something
holding a high price?
How many see God this way? How many have a
counterfeit relationship with him? Do they really know the high price that has
been paid for our salvation and eternal life, or is it a simple prayer some
foreigner once told them to say? Is it a relationship where you think you can
pay $2 verses $80 like you did on that tshirt, but instead its 3 minutes
hearing a worship song over an hour in prayer and reading your Bible?
In Romans 12, Paul talks about personal
responsibility and with that how to hold yourself in this world.
"In his grace, God has given us different
gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to
prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is
serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift
is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If
God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if
you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. Don't just
pretend to love others. Really
love them. Hate what is
wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection and
take delight in honoring each other." (Romans 12:6-10, NLT)
Be who you are, who God has created you to be.
We have each been made in His image, to His perfect specification, to be exactly
who he wanted us to be. He did not make me just like you, and you not just like
the person beside you. He wanted you to be original, hand crafted, valued. He
didn't make you to be jealous, envious, or desire what you cannot have. He does
not want you to become something you are not, to become something that is only
a representation of the person you truly are. He didn't create you to be
counterfeit.
Be the real thing. Be the real you. Be the
person that a high price was paid for. Don't settle for something sold on the
back alleys, but become something that is of purity and genuine material. And
don't let your relationship with Him become anything less... He is worth more
that we can ever imagine, and yet has given Himself to us free, paying the debt
in our place. If anything should be paid in full, that's it.
Eleven months later and I still can't tell you
what humility is. And neither can my teammates.
Monday through Friday, Nicole and I teach
morning English classes. We have gotten into a semi-routine of a lesson plan
which tends to begin with a review and then a Bible story. These are all
university students who live in dorms above the church, so we figured why not
add in a little Bible reading comprehension. They want to focus on three main
things: listening, pronunciation, and conversation. Well, reading comprehension
is a fantastic way to listen, especially when I am the only one reading, and
all they can do is listen.
Well today's story was the Prodigal Son. We
start by reading the story, and then defining any words they did not know.
Today's list was extensive, with about 15-20 words on.The list looked something like this...
Meanwhile
Circumstances
Dire
Famine
Repent
Estate
Inheritance
Promptly
.....
You get the drift.
It also included, humility
A word we refer to often, especially in the
church and on the World Race. It is a way of life, a means to live to, or so we
like to think so anyway.
Yet how do you define it when you want a
simple definition, nothing based on circumstance? And at that, you even have a dictionary.
The Oxford American Dictionary defines humility as this: a
modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness OR lower in dignity or
importance.
Somehow, neither of those hit home for us this
morning. It was me and Ralph, Nicole was home sick. We spent a good ten minutes
trying to give examples, use new words, tell stories, and yet nothing got the
point across of what humility really is.
I can't help but feel like after almost 24
years of life, 11 months on the field, and more than enough moments in life to
reference, I should be able to tell someone what humility is. But I couldn't. I
couldn't give it justice. I couldn't make it out to be all it was intended.
So after asking too many people's definition,
and sitting here thinking, I think I have it.
There is no definition.
Words cannot explain it.
You just need to have it.
You just need to walk in it.
You just need to breathe it.
You just need to humble yourselves as He once
did.